Anxiety and school refusal is a challenging and prevalent issue for parents and teachers. School refusal is present in almost every school and has significant consequences for young people. There are a number of factors that contribute to school refusal including anxiety (separation, social or generalised), learning issues, poor social skills, bullying and online gaming addiction.
I recently attended a very thought provoking course on anxiety and school refusal. The workshop was presented by Professor Michael Gordon who is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. Professor Gordon’s key message was that the treatment for school refusal is exposure to school. The longer students are away from school the harder it is to reintegrate. The reason for this is:
- A foundation of learning can be lost and students can feel behind academically
- Friendships can be difficult to re-establish
- The student can heighten the concept of returning to school larger than the reality
Professor Gordon offered a number of practical strategies to assist with anxiety and school refusal:
- Encourage The Stretch Zone: Picture three concentric circles. The inner circle is the comfort zone, the middle is the stretch zone and the outer is the danger zone. By default we prefer to stay in the comfort zone, but it is very important for our mental health to move into the stretch zone every day. The stretch zone varies for each individual. For some children, coming to school is in the stretch zone, but they confuse it with the danger zone. The child needs to understand that they are safe at school and the uncomfortable stretch feeling is important and good in the long run.
- Routine: Establish a consistent routine for nighttime and morning. Children need sleep to manage their emotions effectively, so a consistent early bed time is critical. Likewise, morning routine is central to arriving to school on time. Expectations drive outcomes. So if there are clear expectations and routines, children will soon stop questioning or pushing back. There is also security and safety in knowing and keeping to a set routine.
- Tip The Seesaw: A child experiencing anxiety and school refusal is in constant mental flux, like the tipping back and forth of a see saw. It is important to tip the seesaw just enough to get the child to school. This involves frequent positive reminders and prompts from adults in the child’s life such as the parent, teacher, counsellor or school leadership team. If the child feels all the adults in their life are encouraging the same message the seesaw is more likely to tip towards school.
- Changed Drop Off: Have a different adult drop the student to school, such as the father, neighbour, family friend or school mate. Often a school refusing child struggles with separation anxiety from the mother. So removing this separation in the morning can be advantageous.
- Red and Green Apple Choice: Offer the child choice, but the outcome will still be to return to school. So they can choose who takes them to school, where they are dropped off, which teacher will meet them at the gate or whether they participate in all lessons during the day. These choices are like selecting a red or green apple. The child must still choose an apple (coming to school) but they have a sense of a control by selecting the colour.
- Be Aware Of Difficult Days: Research shows that returning to school after a holiday period or after the weekend is always the hardest. Therefore, anticipate that Monday will be more difficult and put in place a plan that sets the child up for success.
- School Refusal Is A Problem: Research also shows that students who do not return to school have future disadvantages with regards to academic achievements, work, relationships and social functioning. Non-attendance can lead to lowered academic success and higher risk of mental health problems. Therefore, if a child is showing signs of school refusal don’t let the problem escalate. Treat it as a serious problem immediately and by being very proactive to developing a plan to change this pattern of behaviour.
Next week I will publish Part 2 of this post, which will include seven more practical strategies for managing anxiety and school refusal.
School Refusal
