Helping Anxious Children – Part 1

Anxiety disorders present in approximately one out of ten children. This statistic seems very real in classrooms today. I often speak to teaching colleagues who feel ill equipped to support the large number students (and parents) suffering from anxiety. Over the holidays I read a superb book called ‘Helping Your Anxious Child’ – it is an incredibly helpful tool for working with anxious children. This three part blog series is a summary of the really practical and useful strategies in the book.

What Is Anxiety?

‘Helping Your Anxious Child‘ is a step by step guide for parents to help their children overcome anxiety. Often parents may feel their child will ‘grow out of’ their anxieties, but instead the fears seem to worsen with time. Whilst fears are a normal part of everyday life, anxiety is a problem when normal worries become intrusive, extreme and have an adverse affect on a child’s life. Below are a list of seven types of anxiety:

1. Specific phobias: Fear of a particular object or situation for example the dark, dogs, storms or spiders.
2. Separation anxiety: Fear of being separated from the main caregiver, often the child’s mother which can lead to school avoidance.
3. Generalised anxiety: Being worried or anxious about many areas of life such as health, school work or burglaries. Anxiety about a new or novel situation and ask repeated questions for reassurance.
4. Social anxiety or social phobia: Worry about a scenario where the child will be the focus of attention.
5. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: Worry centred on particular themes such as germs and neatness. The child will repeat specific thoughts and actions for long periods.
6. Panic disorder: Fear about having panic attacks. Panic attacks are a sudden rush of fear that is often accompanied by physical symptoms including sweating, dizziness, breathlessness and racing heart.
7. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Reaction to a serious event where a child was significantly scared or injured. Such events may include a car accident, natural disaster or burglary.

The authors suggest four key strategies for managing anxiety:

1. Detective thinking
2. Step ladders
3. Assertiveness
4. Social skills.

Below is an overview of detective thinking. I will explain the other strategies in my next two blog posts.

Detective Thinking

Detective thinking is the process where children learn to think realistically. Realistic thinking is based on the premise that events and circumstances are not fully responsible for our feelings. In fact two people can experience the same event but feel completely different about it. Our feelings about an event are very dependent on what we tell ourselves in our head. We often overestimate the likelihood of bad events and then assume the event will be catastrophic and unbearable. Detective thinking involves looking for actual evidence to determine if our thinking is true. There are four steps to detective thinking:

1. Past experience: Reflect on a similar situation in the past and whether it worked out badly.
2. General information: Use common sense, logic or general knowledge.
3. Alternative explanations: Consider other possible reasons for the event, is there a more positive explanation for the event?
4. Role reversal: Mentally turn the situation around and pretend you are the other person in the situation. How would you feel if the situation was reversed?

Once a child has used their detective thinking skills they should focus on using the evidence to create a calm thought. This calm thought will help them feel less worried. It can also be helpful for a child to consider their initial worry rating on a scale from 1 to 10. After using detective thinking the child must then reevaluate and decide on a new worry rating. This helps the child identify a shift in worry or anxiety. Here is an example of detective thinking:

Event (what is happening)

I have to give a speech at school.

Thoughts (what am I thinking?)

I get very anxious when I have to speak in front of other people. The kids in my class will think my speech is silly. When I give speeches my heart beats fast, I feel sick in my tummy, my hands sweat and my voice goes wobbly. Worry rating: 7

What is the evidence?

1. Past experience: Last year I gave a speech and even though I was really worried I was able to present to the class. I also practised my speech to my family at home last night and felt okay once I started speaking.
2. General information:Everyone else has to give a speech and they probably feel nervous. Even if my speech isn’t that good no one will remember it in three days. I will look sillier if I don’t give a speech.
3. Alternative explanations:My friends might be really excited to hear my speech and won’t think it is silly. My family didn’t think my speech was silly and my class teacher always says encouraging things to me.
4. Role reversal: The other kids in the class might also feel nervous about giving a speech, so they will understand how I feel. They might be excited to hear what I have to say.

What is my realistic thought?

I’ve practised my speech and know that it is okay. Most of the class won’t even remember the speech in a few days and doing my best is all that is asked. Worry rating: 3

Question for you: How could you use detective thinking with your students or even in your own life?

Helping Anxious Children